Bringing daddy home: Time to heal the family

Casey Thomas | 9/9/2013, 9:35 a.m.
I’m not a writer, I just have something to say.
Casey Thomas

The Dallas Examiner

I’m not a writer, I just have something to say.

This weekend Bishop T.D. Jakes, pastor of the Potter’s House Church, hosted his MegaFest Conference in our city of Dallas. They saw 50,000 people from around the world come to get renewed and reinvigorated about the day-to-day challenges that face our community. However, the topic of absent fathers was the main topic on the first day of the conference.

As you know by now, I am oftentimes considered to be one of a dying breed. I grew up with both my mother and father in the home until I grew up and went off to college. Unfortunately, we have too many young boys who don’t know what this experience is like. They will go to events and see other men with their father and wonder “where is my Daddy and why is he not with me?”

As an educator, I get to see daily the effects of boys growing up without a father in the home. Many times, young men are told that “you are the man of the house” and want to think that this transfers to the school. Since these boys have been told they are the man so often, when they are confronted by an actual adult male there is a conflict. We have to stop telling these boys that being the only male in the house makes them a man.

Also, we have to help momma to understand that no matter how she feels about daddy, she should never talk bad about him in the presence of her son. I say this because too often the negative feelings that the mother has about the father is transferred to the son. We have heard time and time again about the mother who says to her son “you are just like your daddy” in a negative manner. This boy who has never met his father has come to two observations at the same time: 1. My Daddy must be no good, and 2. Why would my mother have a child by a man that is no good. Without knowing it, the mother has just lost respect in the eyes of her son by doing this.

There are many fathers who have chosen not be in their son’s life. For whatever reason, these adult males are willing to ignore the fact that there is a boy or boys walking around with their DNA. These individuals should have thought twice before engaging in an activity that is designed to re-populate the Earth. With so many safe sex resources available today, there is no excuse for not taking better precautions.

It is time that we bring Daddy home. We can no longer allow our young men to walk around angry because some man chose to ignore his responsibility. We have to open the door to these men to come back into the lives of these boys. We have to ask the mothers to allow these fathers a chance to develop a relationship with their sons. We have to tell these fathers that they have to give their sons time to forgive them and room to grow to the maturity level where they are able to deal with this circumstance. If we don’t begin the process of healing this wound, our families will continue to suffer, and our community will also.

Enough is enough. The time is now.