The Happy Wives Club
Happy marriage study, a Black woman’s world-wide campaign
Chelsea Jones | 5/9/2014, 8:33 p.m. | Updated on 5/9/2014, 8:33 p.m.
The Dallas Examiner
Even though divorce rates are high, happy marriages do exist, according to Fawn Weaver, The New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club. The book details the secrets to a happy marriage. Frustrated by the media’s negative attention toward marriage, Weaver felt a part of the conversation was missing.
“We spend all of our time focused on the 47 percent of marriages that end in divorce. We need to spend at least an equal amount of that time looking at the 53 percent that succeed,” Weaver said.
Having been happily married to her husband of 10 years, she wanted to create a space of support for content wives like her.
“Women need encouragement in that they need to know that [marriage] can not only last forever, it’s meant to be amazing, not this garbage that we see on television,” Weaver said, referencing the current trend in sitcoms and reality shows that display tales of desperate housewives.
In 2010, she launched HappyWivesClub.com, an online forum for happily married women. The blog features articles about how to maintain a satisfying union, health, fitness and travel.
It was named the number one marriage website by About.com for 2012 and 2013. Today, it has over 750,000 subscribers in more than 110 countries.
Weaver decided to write the book after speaking with website members who had been with their husbands for 25 years or more.
“I would ask them what is the secret to a happy marriage. It was like they had almost been raised in the same household, or at least the same community. The answers were almost identical,” Weaver said.
Intrigued, she set out to travel the world to see if there was one universal secret to achieving marital bliss. Instead, she found that there were twelve. After interviewing satisfied couples, she learned that the secrets were:
• Respect – Each couple had mutual respect for one another.
• Trust – This seemed to be a result of giving each other respect.
• A belief in a higher being – They believed in God and feared disappointing Him in relation to their spouses.
• Laughter – They had fun with each other and laughed a lot.
• Outside interests – They maintained separate identities by involving themselves in work/hobbies outside of the home and their family.
• A daily ritual – They retained a daily ritual (e.g. drinking coffee every morning).
• Regular date nights – They continued to date each other throughout their marriage as they had when they were initially dating.
• Support – They supported one another through school, life changes, career changes, goals, dreams, interests and hobbies.
• Friendship – They were best friends.
• Marital nurturing – They put their marriage as the number one relationship in their lives.
• No plan B – They decided at the beginning of their marriage not to get a divorce.
• Encouraging friends – They surrounded themselves with people who supported their marriage.
For six months, Weaver traveled to six continents and 12 countries to complete her mission, visiting Agoura Hills, San Diego, Santa Clarita, San Francisco and Winnipeg, Canada, for her North American tour; Cape Town, Port Louis and Grand Baie in Africa; London, Croatia and Rome in Europe; Manila and Quezon City in Asia; Perth, New Zealand and Fiji in Australia; and Argentina and Uruguay in South America.